PROVERBS 31 (PART III)

“The Virtuous Woman” Part III
CHARACTER TRAIT COUNTDOWN #9-1

I.                   Intro

1.   This is our last look at the virtuous wife.  She is rare but finding her or becoming her is the greatest gift this world has to offer.  Her worth is far more precious than the treasures of this world.

2.   We’ve already looked at many of her characteristics.  She is good at being trustworthy, she is good to her husband, she is good with her hands, she is good at finding deals, she is good at managing her time, she is good at saving, investing, and earning money, she is good at keeping herself in shape, she is good at hands on skills, and she is good at helping those in need. 

3.     Let’s look at the rest of her character traits...

II.                 Proverbs 31:21-22

1.       “not afraid of snow…clothed with scarlet” (v.21):

A.    Character Trait #9:     She is good about not complaining.  She does not complain about cold weather or about anything else for that matter.  The Hebrew word for ‘scarlet’ might mean ‘double garments,’ which makes more sense.  She makes sure her husband and kids are dressed warmly for the cold season.

B.     Complaining can be a problem for a lot of ladies.  But remember, God does not enjoy complainers.  The children of Israel complained in the wilderness, and it displeased God and His anger was aroused against them.  In the New Testament, Paul wrote to do all things “without complaining or disputing.”  Jude wrote that a characteristic of false teachers was that they complained and grumbled.  Needless to say, the virtuous wife is not a complainer.

2.            “makes tapestry for herself…fine linen and purple” (v.22):

A.    Character Trait #8:     She is good at presenting herself well.  Tapestry usually refers to sheets for a bed, so she was good with interior decorating.  I think all women naturally are good at interior decorating.  I think it’s a gene that all women have.  But the virtuous woman also dresses nicely.  She doesn’t buy all her clothes at thrift stores and Costco, though there is nothing wrong with that.  But the virtuous wife dresses to impress.  She is not vain or shallow; she just wants to make a good impression on others. 

III.              Proverbs 31:23-25

1.     “husband is known in the gates…sits among the elders” (v.23):

A.    Character Trait #7:     She is good at supporting her husband.  Sitting at the gate was the role of the city officials.  Her husband was a city council member, judge, or advisor.  She probably helped elevate his status with her good reputation.

B.     Even though she is busy doing many things, she still supports her husband in what he does.  Because ultimately, that is the primary role of the wife.  They say “behind every good man is a good woman.”  That’s true.  When God created Adam, and saw that he needed a helper, he created Eve.  So her primary purpose was to be a support for her husband.  That’s also something the virtuous wife does well.

2.     “makes linen garments and sells them…sashes” (v.24):

A.    Character Trait #6:     She is good at doing business.  She opens up her own clothing line for woman.  She not only can make the clothes but she knows how to sell them.  She doesn’t let the fact of her husband serving on the city council stop her from following her dreams and opening up business.  If there is something you really want to do in life, don’t let marriage or having kids stop you.  Unless you feel God doesn’t want you to do it.

3.     “strength and honor are her clothing” (v.25):

A.    Character Trait #5:     She is good about being modest.  She is not materialistic.  Her real clothing is far richer than linen or silk; she is dressed in strength and honor.  She cares much more about her dignity than she does about her dress.  Like they always say, modest is hottest.  Outward looks aren’t everything to her.  Yes she takes care of herself, but more important than that she takes care of her character.

4.     “opens her mouth with wisdom…law of kindness” (v.26):

A.    Character Trait #4:     She is good about her speech.  She doesn’t curse, she doesn’t gossip, she doesn’t say foolish things; instead when she opens her mouth wisdom springs forth.

B.     Not only does she speak wisely, but she teaches others about kindness.  The word ‘law’ means ‘instruction,’ so she gives advice to other women about how to be kind.

C.     Paul encourages this in the New Testament.  He calls mature women to “disciple the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God” (Titus 2:4-5).  The virtuous wife disciples other ladies in these good things.

IV.              Proverbs 31:27-29

1.      “watches over the ways of her household” (v.27):

A.    Character Trait #3:     She is good at disciplining her kids.  To ‘watch over’ means to look out for any potential dangers.  The virtuous wife protects her household from the dangers of the internet, the television, bad company, etc.  She makes sure her children and husband remain pure.

B.     And she walks the walk herself.  ‘Idleness’ here means to gossip or to be lazy.  She doesn’t get caught up in either one, which can be very hard for girls to resist.   She sets a good example for her kids by walking the talk. 

2.     “children called her blessed…husband praises her” (v.28):

A.    Character Traits #2:   She is good to her family.  She is so good to them that they wake up giving her compliments.  She does so much for them all they want to do is show their gratitude and thanksgiving to her.

B.     Her husband even comes up with a saying for her, ‘many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.’  He thinks she is the greatest wife and mother of all time.  And it’s true, because finding a virtuous wife is like finding a rare treasure, it is hard to find but worth the search. 

V.                Proverbs 31:30-31

1.     “charm deceitful…beauty passing…fears the Lord” (v.30):

A.    Character Trait #1:     She has a good relationship with the Lord.  She knows that her real worth is not her outward looks but her devotion to God.  ‘Charm’ and ‘beauty’ are passing, they don’t last forever.  Looks only last so long.  Then you get old and wrinkly.

B.     In our society where physical appearance counts for so much, it may surprise us to realize that the physical looks of the virtuous woman are never mentioned.  Her attractiveness comes entirely from her character.  Her husband adores her, her children compliment her, and everyone else admires her; and it has nothing to do with her looks.

C.     Ladies, don’t think you have to win over a guy just based on your looks.  If you succeed in doing that, you will find the wrong guy.  The right guy will be won over by more than just your looks, but also your godly character.

D.    You don’t need to win over anybody with just looks alone, instead focus on your relationship with Christ.  Grow closer to Him.  And God will reward you with the right husband, great kids, and the respect of others. 

VI.              Conclusion

1.     The book begins with the fear of the Lord (1:7) and ends with it (31:30).  The wisest thing you can do is fear God.  If we fear God according to the book of Proverbs, then we will gain knowledge and wisdom, we will hate sin, we will succeed in life, and we will live a godly life.  All good things.